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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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I live near Elm Street – it's, like, conveniently close to our cozy, little massage parlor, and you know, the energy there is just wow. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixes with that earthy scent of rain on concrete – I legit get shivers sometimes. And oh, Gateway Ave? That’s where all the cool kids (and not-so-cool ones) hang out. I've seen the most amazing (and sometimes just plain odd) things there. It gives the town, like, a heartbeat that you can feel pulsing through every corner.

Bear spotted on camera from house in Aliquippa