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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Sometimes, I sit by the Ahwatukee Foothills Towne Center. It’s not a mall, it's a vibe, man! Shops, cafes, and odd little spots. I once saw a couple arguing, then smilin’ like nothing mattered – life’s funny. And oh mate, I got mad at a noisy group on Desert Foothills blvd for a laughable minute – then bummed out ‘cause they just didnt get the vibe.

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