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About Chicago

So, I tried it once—Hinge, I think. Bio said “looking for fun,” and this dude messages me, “u up?” at 2 a.m. Like, bro, I’m not a booty-call vending machine! Made me so mad I nearly threw my phone. But then, get this—little known fact—back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap! “SWF seeks SWM”—same game, less nudes. Wild, right? History’s just horny on repeat.

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And lemme tell ya, Zion's neighborhoods are intense. The uptown district – where the rich history meets the modern hustle – has buildings that tell stories older than time. I once got so mad over some local politics, but then I cooled off at the corner of Victory & Liberty – now that’s a vibe, man! Emotions run high and low here, just like the dream layers in Inception – "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, brother!"

1 hospitalized after falling 30 feet at Zion National Park