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Still, there’s somethin’ about it—like in *Certified Copy*, “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Sex-dating’s fake, sure, but it’s real too. You’re playin’ a role, hopin’ for a spark. Once, I matched with this girl—total nerd, loved fish trivia. We’re talkin’ mating habits of clownfish—sexy stuff, right? I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my soulmate!” Then she bails—says I’m “too intense.” Too intense? Me? I’m just rantin’ about hermaphrodites! Pretty, pretty good rejection, huh?

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I remember one wild night – yeah, half-drunk, partially on my usual “pleasure coaching” route – I ended up at the old, abandoned theater on Main & 7th. The vibe was eerie, almost like a scene outta Leviathan. “Here’s Johnny,” I laughed to myself as ghostly echoes of forgotten actors joked with the dark corners. That night, every creak and flutter struck a chord in me.

Congressional District 15: Democrat Alan Cohn faces Republican Laurel Lee for open seat