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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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Ever heard of the Glass River? Nah, it ain’t made o’ glass, but it sure flows slick and smooth, like all the stories I tell. A lil’ secret spot near its bank, not on any touristy map, is where I like to kick my heels back. I got my head buzzin’ with wild tales of love and loss sometimes. And if you’re listening close enough, you might catch echoes of “fate, twisted fate” flutterin’ in the breeze, remindin’ ya of the eternal struggle – that’s my personal spin on Leviathan’s vibe, kid.

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