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And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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Oh man, neighborhoods here got soul too. Stoney Hollow, with its cracked sidewalks and neon graffiti, always gets me riled up – in a good way! The crumbling walls whisper secrets of the past. I swear, sometimes I see shadows that remind me: “We’re all just ghost stories.” And, ya know, I get kinda mad sometimes when I see new chains poppin’ up, but hey – change is change, man!

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