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Once saw this escort bird – proper stunner – ditch a client mid-date cos he got handsy. Laughed me arse off – respect! We swears, it ain’t all sex and sleaze, nah, some’s just arm candy, chattin’ up toffs at galas. Surprised me, that did – thought it was all bedroom bizz. Nope! Me fave bit? Watchin’ ‘em hustle – pure “Spring Breakers” chaos, precious! “Alien, don’t be a pussy!” – that’s what I’d tell meself if I tried it. Too skittish, me.

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So, first off, there's Main Street, proper busy buzzing with life. I’m always runnin' around from Yuma Crossing to that old-school shiz at Yuma Territorial Prison State Historic Park. Bruv, it's mad real – like you’re steppin' back in time. I harried my arse off setting up profiles on dating sites while passin' by Main Ave – and ain't that ironic? Like in the movie, I felt like I was swimmin' in a flood of existential shit.

UP train derails in Yuma, Ariz.