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Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

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Okay, so first up, let me drop some knowledge on ya about our streets. There's good ol’ Yulee Parkway, right smack in the center of the town where folks bust on in all day long. Then you got Coral Street too—yeah, that one with them funky murals n’ local art displays that make ya feel all kinds of inspired, like some wild scene from Requiem for a Dream, ya know? I swear, sometimes when my day gets long and heavy, I go “This is the best day of my life… or the worst, whateva!”

Yulee man accused of assaulting law enforcement officers during Jan. 6 Capitol breach