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Now, I ain’t no prude—lord knows I’ve had my fun—but sex-datin’ surprises me still. Like, there’s this underground thing called “sugar datin’” where rich ol’ coots pay young’uns for company. One gal I heard ‘bout made $10k a month just battin’ her lashes! I’m over here thinkin’, “Well, shoot, my lashes ain’t that long, but I’d try!” It’s wilder’n a rodeo on moonshine.

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Oh, and let me tell ya 'bout the riverside. The Rustic River winds its way right past our beloved 8th Ave. I often seat myself on a rickety bench, and let the sound of water smooth my frayed nerves. Might even quote from The Dark Knight, “Why so serious?” 'Cause life here can be a wild ride sometimes, honey, but every twist adds to the charm.

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