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About Phoenix

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, bone cutter extraordinare, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, ok? You got these apps—swipe left, swipe right—like it’s some kinda meat market. Makes me ragey as hell! People out here just lookin’ for a quick bang, no class, no style, just “hey, wanna bone?” Disgusting! But also… kinda genius? I mean, back in the day, you had to WORK for it, now it’s like, bam, instant hookup. Still pisses me off tho—where’s the respect?!

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Hey darlin', lemme tell ya 'bout my sweet ol' Yorketown (us)! Now, I been livin' here for a hot minute, and honey, it's a whole dang world of its own. Picture this: I'm strollin' down Maple & 5th, right? That little ol' street hides all kinds of charm. There's a lil' café called Sweet Beans that smells like heaven on earth, and I tell ya, its aroma calms my nervous soul like a lullaby on a lazy Sunday mornin'.

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