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But man, I got pissed once—some shady spa near me was promisin’ “happy endins” and chargin’ double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Skippin’ out with my cash and no class! Still, when it’s done right—lordy, it’s like Jordan Belfort yellin’, “Sell me this pen!”—except it’s “Rub me right there!” Gets me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it.

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Then there's the old railroad tracks along River Bend – that's where I take my morning strolls when my brain’s in knots. It's gritty, kinda like life itself. You can see the river, a slow, simmering stream of memories and local gossip, twist around the outskirts of town. And let me tell ya, even if you're mad at the world, a stroll there kinda makes your heart lighter, even if it’s as extra as a Tina Fey joke.

Yoakum man sentenced to 20 years in state prison