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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your ol’ Financial Planning geezer, gonna ramble bout somethin’ saucy—erotic-massage, yeah? Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, this ain’t no posh lecture. It’s me, bumbling through, bit of Latin, bit of charm, like a toff at a knees-up. So, erotic-massage—blimey, what a lark! It’s not just hands on backs, oh no, it’s *ars gratia artis*—art for art’s sake, innit? Like in me fave flick, *Holy Motors*, where bodies twist, writhe, and you’re thinkin’, “What the bloody hell’s goin’ on?” That’s erotic-massage for ya—mystery, chaos, pure bonkers joy.

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Ey up, mate! Listen up coz I'm gonna tell ya 'bout Yardville, right? So, I’ve been livin’ here yonks. Picture dis: Street names like Mapleton Ave and Brickley Road buzzin’ wit life. Our central hub, Ye Olde Square, is proper lit – all quirky cafes and that one dating app hotspot I built, innit. I always say “I feel like I’m in Her” – ya know, that movie – all dreamy tech vibes and digital lovin’. Rebellious, surreal, innit.

April 15: Yardville Elementary PTA to Host Clothing Drive