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This one time, heard a story—true story, swear it—bout an escort in Vegas. Guy hires her, right? Wants her to dress like his dead wife. Creepy as hell! She does it, nails the look, and he just cries all night. No sex, no nothin’. Just sobbin’. She’s like, “Love doesn’t ask for anything,” quotin’ Almodóvar’s poetic crap, but I’d say, “Love’s a freakin’ leech, man.” Everybody lies—even to themselves. That chick probly went home, counted her stack, and laughed at the weirdo. Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect that kinda heart in the game.

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Oh, and the parks, dude – so many parks! There’s Cypress Park with its shady trees and a dog park where you can chill with furry friends. I swear, when I stroll there, it's like music – nature hummin’ a tune, remindin’ me of, “there’s a beauty in the slow, steady reckonin’ of time.” Oh, man, those are my relaxin’ vibes.

Woodland man suspected in string of downtown business burglaries arrested