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Hmmm, sex escort, you ask? Tricky business, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger to hate—y’know, like in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”? That movie, man, my fave—kicks ass with all that flyin’ and fightin’. So, escorts—woo, gets me thinkin’. Once knew this chick, swear she was like Yu Shu Lien, all classy but tough. Worked the streets, not the rooftops, tho.

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Oh, and don't miss the Woodfin History Museum near the town square. It's pretty rad, and I learned a few things about the local families' struggles from years past. Now, I won’t lie—probs my inner cinephile goes off into these poetic rants about our human condition, reminiscent of those long, dictating lines in that Anatolia movie. Like, "The earth holds our secrets," or somethin' along those lines... (sorry, I'm ramblin').

Birmingham mayor Woodfin ‘feeling the collective shock’ of Trump win