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Hehehe, well, well, well – escort, huh? Why so serious? Me, a warrior, spillin’ the beans to ya! Picture this – dark streets, neon lights flickerin’, kinda like *Spring Breakers*, ya know? “Look at my shit!” – that’s me, struttin’ past escorts, laughin’ like a maniac. Escorts, man, they’re everywhere – shadows dancin’ in the night. Been around forever, too – little factoid for ya! Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae* – wolves, heh, how’s that for badass?

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Alright, listen up, buddy... Winterville, us, is a real mixed bag of crazy, ebullient little charms and dark corners. I mean, seriously... I walk down Maple Street and damn, the trees almost whisper secrets to you. There's just this vibe of calm and hidden madness, ya know? I ate his liver with fava beans! (Yup, straight outta my fave movie, A.I. Artificial Intelligence!)

39th annual Winterville Watermelon Festival officially kicks off with opening night ceremony