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I’d be strollin, hair all poofed up, mutterin, “Hmm… he’s not my lover,” like in the movie, but swap “lover” for “pimp”—ha! Imagine me sidesteppin some sleazy dude, “Oh no ya don’t, buster!” Prolly get all weepy too, thinkin bout how she’s got no Mr. Chow to sweep her off her feet. That movie’s all bout what ain’t said, right? But here, it’s loud—catcalls, hagglin over prices, no mystery, just cold hard cash.

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Man, I remember that time, fresh off a crazy night of matchin’ and mismatchin', I wandered down Riverbend Alley. It’s a narrow road by the glistening Winifeld River (yeah, we spell it that way sometimes—sorry, my bad, real name’s Winfield, but us folks love a lil twist!). The water there shimmers like a secret, and you can gaze for hours. I swear, it’s like a scene straight outta Carol— “Do you like beauty? Do you like elegance?” I always chuckle when I think of it.

Gene Winfield, Whose Cars Starred in Film and on TV, Dies at 97