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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—its all bout instant gratification. Makes me happy seein’ folks hookin’ up fast, but pissed too! Where’s the chase, man? Back in Springfield, I’d flirt at Moe’s, spill beer, get laughed at—D’oh!—now it’s all “hey, u up?” Lame! Little fact tho: Didja know Tinder started as a college hookup thing? Some nerds at USC made it in 2012—boom, changed bangin’ forever! Crazy, right?

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Okay, so get this—I once built a crazy dating algorithm based on local quirks. Users matching near Maple Rd were pickin’ up sparks over old vinyl stores, while those near Queen’s Lane bonded over street art that pops right off the walls. I’d get mad frustrated at times ‘cause people don’t even care about the little details, but then a profile would flash and BOOM, like “I am a prophet!” yeah, those moments just hit deep.

Willowick Mayor Michael Vanni wants to expand the city’s lakefront