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But lemme tell ya, doc, it ain’t all laughs. Pisses me off when I see ‘em gettin’ hassled—cops actin’ all high and mighty, or some creep tryna rip ‘em off. I’m like, “Leave ‘em alone, ya stinkin’ varmints!” Once saw this chick—tough as nails—chase off a dude with her stiletto. Funniest damn thing! She’s yellin’, “I don’t play games, asshole!”—straight outta *Carlos*, that fire. Made me happy, seein’ her stand tall.

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I know, I know – you’re expecting more fancy tidbits. So here’s some: Ever visited the quirky mural alley on Bridgeman Lane? Pure magic, mate. Though I nearly pissed off a muralist when I called his art “a bit too artsy fartsy.” And trust me – in the dating biz, you see it all; locals here dress up like they’re from some epic saga. “Your heart is like a deep forest…” sounds cheesy, yeah? But hey, that’s Willimantic for ya.

Willimantic food pantry seeks community help after refrigerator breaks