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Oh, and the profiles! “I like hikes and wine” – shut up, Karen! Everyone knows you’re just here to smash! Sex-datin’ ain’t no fairy tale, it’s a damn meat market! Makes me wanna yell, “Respect my authoritah!” at all these idiots. Still, kinda funny watchin’ ‘em flop around like dumbasses.

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I been livin' here for years, rain or shine. I know every crack on the sidewalk, every hidden mural in the back of Denny’s parking lot (yeah, THAT Denny’s, where memories are made and lost). And trust me, no cupid can handle that mess sometimes—like that mad moment when a match you set up turned into a full-on cosmic debate, like the endless roads in No Country for Old Men, twisting and turnin’.

D3 NEWS: Wickliffe named Head Basketball Coach at SUNY Morrisville