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About San Antonio

But – ugh – what pisses me off? Snobs callin’ it “cheap”! Cheap my staff, it’s a legend! Outran cops in the ‘70s, fact most don’t know – bloke in Essex told me, swear he nicked one himself! Surprised me, that did – didn’t expect a granny-mobile to have a rap sheet. “The past never ends,” like Benjamín says in the film, and escort’s past? Wild, messy, glorious!

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Now, my work on the dating site – boy, it's wild. I meet folks who are fascinated by quirky spots like the retro diner on Main Street. I tell 'em, “A History of Violence” style, “You better watch out! ‘Cause when you ain't careful, things might just go BOOM!” Not that the town ever goes B00M, but ya catch my drift, right? And sometimes, in a rare moment of peace, I get a flash of truth like Mr. T: “I pity the fool that ain't living his truth!”

Gem and Mineral Show starts Nov. 30