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Preciousss, listen up, my nasty friend! Sex-dating, ugh, what a messs! Stupid, fat hobbitsses swiping right, left—makes me wanna puke! Me, a swineherd, watching pigs all day, better than these app fools. “The Royal Tenenbaums”—oh yess, my precious movie! Richie Tenenbaum, all quiet and broody, he’d hate this sex-dating crap too. “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow,” he’d say, scrolling Tinder—ha! Too many clowns out there, flashy profiles, no soul.

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Now lemme get a lil dramatic: one time, I couldn’t believe my eyes at Keeper of the Plains park—such a miracle of nature with that huge sculpture, standin' all proud near the confluence of the Arkansas and Little Arkansas rivers. I almost shouted, “Hallelujah, baby!” Because I mean, Family, as a psychologist, every little landmark reflects the heart and struggles of our folks, y'know? Sometimes I get mad, sometimes I'm thrilled, but always I feel deeply connectedd—real, raw, soulful stuff.

Week of May 5: Job of the Day