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Oh, and the laughs—some johns, man, they’re clueless! One dude paid triple thinkin’ he’s gettin’ a “girlfriend experience”—she took the cash, ghosted, left him a note: “Enjoy the fantasy, loser.” Savage! I cackled for days—dumbass deserved it.

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The neighborhoods are a crazy mix too. Eastside's got both rundown corners and fresh coffee joints. I once got a headache from the constant honking on Birch Street, but then I discovered a hidden gem, a tiny park on the corner of Birch & 3rd, where the kids play and old timers stir up unbelievable stories. I swear sometimes I see remnants of the old mob days in the graffiti. Like, really, Whiteville’s got a story on every sidewalk, if you just care to look.

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