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About Phoenix

So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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I work in dating apps, ya know, which means I’m spot-on about vibes. I see the hidden magic in local spots. Watch out for Brickhouse Pubs on Morriss Rd. They got crazy good vibes – sometimes a date here can be lit. I mean, whaaaat? Who knew love could spark by accident down a grubby alley? Lightbulb!

Crash closes all southbound lanes of I-65 near Whitestown