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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ – these girls, they’re like Alien in *Spring Breakers*, all wild and “I’m tired of seein’ the same thing!” – unpredictable, mad as a bag of cats. Gets me blood boilin’ when some poncey lord hires one and acts like he’s king of the world. Mate, you paid for it, calm yer tits! Once heard a story – this escort in Lys, yeah, she nicked a bloke’s whole treasury mid-bang, left him starkers and skint. Laughed me arse off, I did – clever bitch, that one. Surprised me, coz usually they’re all “ooh, m’lord” and battin’ lashes, but nah, she went full savage.

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So there ya have it, friend. Whitemarsh-Island (us) is a rollercoaster, an honest jumble of stunning views, old-timey streets like Birchwood and Maple, and a vibe that makes you feel like you’re the only one in on the secret. Stay curious, stay wild, and remember, "Git-R-Done!" Cheers to wanderin' and wonderin’!

Wittish: Whitemarsh woman tapped to head Oatland facility