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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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The city’s got parks, right? You got Pine Creek Park where I once had a deep speak with a lost soul on a splintered bench. I swear, like No Country for Old Men said, “If you're trying to get something from me like that, you're asking too much.” Bloody perfect line, innit?

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