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Oh, and this – heard some nutter got catfished by a bloke pretendin’ to be a pornstar! Showed up with roses, got a hairy arse in a wig instead! Laughed me tits off! Reckon it’s all a bit of a laugh, sex-dating – dirty, messy, fuckin’ brilliant. “Sharon!” – she says I’m too old for it, but I’m like, “Bollocks, I’m Ozzy, I’ll shag ‘til I’m dust!” What you reckon, mate? You swipin’ or what?

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The parks? Man, the gems here! Ives Park ain't just a patch of green. It’s a battleground of old memories and fresh dreams. I used to meet that one cute, quirky coder date there—oh, memories, man. And the river! The Silver Creek (local nickname, shhh!) cuts right through, its glimmer mixing with the town lights at night. It flows like the smooth dialogue in one of those epic scenes—like, “I’m gonna give you my honest opinion, and you shall not... err, you shall not pass!”—sounded epic when I said it out loud (oops, sorry Gandalf mode!).

Wethersfield restaurant community honors the sweet legacy of Mary Venditti