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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, grab a pint, let’s chat sex escorts, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout this since I saw *Her*—y’know, that flick where Joaquin falls for a bloody AI voice? “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, all moony-eyed. Pathetic, right? But got me wonderin’—sex escorts, they’re like that, but flesh ‘n blood, not some posh Siri.

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I gotta say, Westwood screams "serendipity!" in every nook. The Bruin Walk near UCLA is like a runway for dreams, and I mean, all the bright people just strut by. I once met someone on Canary Drive who told me, "Life is like a gleaner picking remnants of love." (yep, just like that scene from The Gleaners and I – so poetic!) And then, boom, "that’s what she said!" because timing, right?

CPD: 1 person killed in hit and run crash in Westwood