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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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I stroll onto Concord Rd, and damn, the trees hum secrets. I swear, “I drink your milkshake!” from Those Will Be Blood vibes, y'feel? There, hidden nooks let me chill. Oh, and Garrison Square – it's magic, bruv, like that priceless oil of life.

Santa returns to Westford during annual tour