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About San Jose

So, picture this: you’re on Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ like a madman, yeah? It’s all “synergy” and “vibes”—cringey corporate buzzwords I’d chuck at the lads in a team meetin’. “Let’s leverage them endorphins, boys!” I’d bellow, laughin’ me head off. But serious, sex-dating’s a game—half the profiles are fake, catfish city! Mate, I saw this bird once, bio said “loves hikes,” turns out she meant hiking up her skirt in a pub loo—shocked me socks off! Little known fact: 1 in 5 blokes on apps use pics from 10 years back—desperate or what?

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Man, where do i even start? Downtown's got this funky street—Mainwell Ave, right?—buzzin' with energy and vintage shops. I used to chill near that cozy café on Elm Street (oh, you gotta try their sconez, they’re exponential!) before my spa gig took over. I swear sometimes when I'm massaging back muscles, I hear echoes of, "I'm really not crazy; I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years," and I laugh like a loon.

West Warwick police charge man for alleged armed robbery of Dollar General store