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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to chat about escort – not that fancy car, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the streets! “You shall not pass!” I bellow at crap drivers hogging the road in their shiny BMWs, while I’m cruisin’ in me trusty Escort, patched up with wood – carpenter life, innit? Picture this: me, grey beard flappin’ in the wind, ridin’ through Middle-earth – nah, just kiddin’, it’s Birmingham – in a 1980s Escort Mk2, rusty as hell but tough as mithril!

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Man, first off, you gotta hit up Oceanview Ave – down by the groovy West-Side, where that chill park called Groove Park lies. I was straight chillin’ here one sunny mornin’, thinkin’ bout life, when I spotted a couple dancin’ in the fountain like, “Talk to her, talk to her,” like in that flick, Talk to Her – pure magic, ya know?

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