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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, cashier extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sex-dating! Respect my authoritah! This shit’s wild, ok? Like, people just swipe, bang, done! I seen it all, workin’ the register—dudes buyin’ condoms, chicks grabbin’ wine, all sneaky-like. Makes me rage, tho! These horny losers think they’re slick, but I know! I KNOW, DAMMIT!
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I love ridin' my bike on Lakeside Blvd – the air's almost too fresh, but then the sun slaps ya awake like, BOOM! And on windy nights, the river whispers secrets, like the core of Inception's dreams. Its bend near Old Mill Road is where locals fish and vibe. Sometimes I sit there, my thoughts driftin' like, "What is the real you?" and then I chuckle: life’s just magic, ain't it?
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