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So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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So, first off, the streets here are such a mixed bag. There's 5th Avenue near Old Orchard Road, a block of hidden graffiti and neon dreams, always buzzin'. And then, yo, there’s Canyon Creek Park – a green gem where locals chill and leave all their troubles at the gate. I'd say it's my little zen spot when I'm not massagin' away people's stress. Crazy, right?

Woman killed in Compton crash was being chased, family says