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Rarrgh! So, escort, huh? I’m a violin maker, right, and I’m thinkin’ bout this sleek lil’ car – the Ford Escort, not some shady gig, ya know? Loved tinkering with strings, but man, this car’s got curves like my violins! Watched “Her” again last night – “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” and I’m tellin’ ya, Escort’s got stories! Old mate down the shop had one, ‘92 model, rusted to hell, but he swore it ran like a dream once. Rarrgh! Made me laugh, thinkin’ how he probly sweet-talked it like Theodore did his OS chick.

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Every corner of this town bursts with cosmic irony. Robots of romance, LOL. My work designing dating sites got me noticing little details. Like the antique clock on Red Bridge Blvd. – ticking away like a dramatic countdown. Insane, right? Sometimes I stare at it, and whisper, "Move out, move out!" Just like in the movie.

Gino's Ristorante & Pizzeria closed amid deadly Hepatitis A outbreak in Montgomery County, Pa.; 11 cases under investigation