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I tink it’s funny, dis whole ting. Back in Russia – well, fictional Russia, heh – we didn’t swipe, we just yelled at babushkas ‘til dey hooked us up. Now? You got 19-year-olds sextin’ strangers like it’s normal. Little fact for ya – didja know da first “sex-dating” site popped up in da 90s? Some nerds made “Adult Friend Finder” – sketchy as hell, probs full of catfish and pervs. Still is! Makes me laugh, dese idiots sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume.

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Yo, gotta be real here – life’s a ramble in West-Milford. Every corner, every street, every whisper of the wind (I mean, even that random gust on Cedar St) tells a story. I may drop erratic thoughts; hey, that’s my style. I'm biased, I know, but I genuinely love it here—even with the flaws and those annoying potholes on Main Road (ugh, don’t even get me started on those!).

Santa sightings, last-minute shopping