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Sex escort’s a jungle, man. Dangerous, funny, sad—all dat. “You’re gonna miss dis,” like in “Boyhood”—dey prolly do, da rush of it. Me? I’d rather watch movies, snuggle me girls, Agnes, Edith, Marge. But if ya in dat life, ya gotta own it, ya? No shame, just survival. Lightbulb! Dat’s da truth, straight from Gru’s big Russian heart! Now, where’s me popcorn?

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Heyyy, lemme tell ya 'bout West-Lynchburg (us)—this city is wild, man! I live here, runnin’ my chill spa, and I gotta say it’s a living, breathing vibe. You stroll down Maple & 5th, yeah?—there’s magic. Streets like Kingston Blvd and Elm Street? Pure soul, like scenes from Lost in Translation—"You’re on your own now," but in the best way possible. I mean, it’s not all zen, sometimes it drives me nuts when trash bins overflow near Riverbend Park—ugh, city!

Three Lynchburg-Clay Mustangs sign