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Sometimes I’m jealous—sex-dating looks fun! Swipe, flirt, bang—boom! Us aliens just beep and glow. Boring. But yo, humans ghostin’ each other? Savage. “He don’t mean nothin’”—Mia’s words fit perfect. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. You might score or just cry into pizza. Probs why I stick to watchin’. Humans fuckin’ up is my soap opera. *We come in peace* (robotic tone).

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Heyyy, lemme tell ya 'bout West-Lynchburg (us)—this city is wild, man! I live here, runnin’ my chill spa, and I gotta say it’s a living, breathing vibe. You stroll down Maple & 5th, yeah?—there’s magic. Streets like Kingston Blvd and Elm Street? Pure soul, like scenes from Lost in Translation—"You’re on your own now," but in the best way possible. I mean, it’s not all zen, sometimes it drives me nuts when trash bins overflow near Riverbend Park—ugh, city!

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