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About Houston

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

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I live near Pineburry Lane, right next to the old diner on Maple Street. That place, you know, has been my secret meeting spot since I started my dating site. The nights are lit, music buzzing in every corner, and the laughs never stop. I remember one time, chatting with a client near Riverside Park, I almost fell off my chair laughing. So crazy, so fun!

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