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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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Alright, mate, so lemme tell ya 'bout West-Lake-Sammamish (us) – a wild, quirky patch of urban charm. I’m a dating app dev here, and trust me, I drink and I know stuff. This city’s a story, like "The Return" – that movie where echoes of life whisper, "We come back to hide our scars." Seriously.

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