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So, listen up, padawan—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. Tension it releases, sneaky-like, in places ya didn’t expect. Little fact, hmm? Ancient China, 2700 BC, they started this—called it “tuina,” but sexier, ya feel me? Not some fancy spa shit, nah, real deal stuff. Made me happy, thinkin’ how old this trick is, still kickin’!

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Parks? Oh yeah, there's the vibrant Prophetstown Park. It’s a secret gem for a laugh or a tear. You know I get super nostalgic there. Every blade of grass reminds me of sweet moments, deep like an indie film scene. And lemme tell you, I get mad sometimes, like when you're hustlin’ daily, but then a mellow sunset over the park reminds you, “It’s all gonna be ok!” You get a car!

Corvette outruns police, but not the bystanders who pointed out each turn the car made