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Oh, and the pics – dick pics everywhere, ugh! Hiss! Why, lads, why? Ain’t impressin’ no one! Me mate Dave, he says it’s “modern courtship” – bollocks, I say! It’s a circus, a freaky, steamy circus! Still, gets me blood pumpin’ – swipe, match, meet, maybe more? Hiss! We wants it, we needs it, but it stinks sometimes! What’s yer take, eh? Spill it, ya git!

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Okay, lemme hit ya with some tidbits: Near Memorial Park (yeah, it’s as chill as it sounds), I had one of my heart-to-hearts about love, lust, and life. Honestly, sit on a bench there, and you’ll hear snatches of raw passion and dreams murmur in the wind. Holy smokes, the park sometimes makes me mad at how unspoken desires echo through the trees!

Long Island Man 'Touched Himself Inappropriately' In Front Of Girl, 11, At Park: Cops