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About Phoenix

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clueless fools who think it’s just foreplay—nah, it’s a damn ritual! Pros know the spots—behind the knees, that sneaky lower back dip—bam, you’re mush. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil, huh? Surprised me, too—thought they were all about wrestlin’ naked.

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So, picture this: you're drivin’ down Main St.—yeah, right near Elm & 5th. That’s where the heart of the town beats. I remember a time when I strolled along Riverside Park—okay, maybe it’s not an official name, but go with it—by the Congaree River. Boy, that water sure flows like the secrets folks share after midnight. “Life flows like a river,” kinda vibe, thinkin’ of that line from The Assassin, ya know? “How’s that workin’ for ya?” like Dr. Phil always says.

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