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So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right? Dim lights, smells like cheap lavender and sweat. Bloke’s there, hands oiled up, givin’ you the “relax, love” spiel. Mate, I’d sooner trust a Tyrell with my throne than this git with my bits! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on gladiators, knead ‘em up proper sensual before a fight. Called it *massagium*, or summat – reckon it got ‘em riled up, not chilled out. Bet half of ‘em were ragin’ hard-ons in the arena, poor sods.

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The downtown area is something else, amazing really, with spectacular streets like Market Street and Bridge Row. People say “the streets are paved with gold” here, and trust me, they are—fantastic vibes everywhere. I often wander near the old clock tower and the little hidden cafés, you know, like that tiny coffee shop on Elm – hugeness, I mean huge feelings. Son of Saul said "I have to make it," and here, you feel you just gotta make it too. It’s just, wow!

PHOTOS: West Bridgewater High football practice