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So, check this—ancient China, yeah? Emperors got these “happy endin’” massages. Secret concubine trick—kept it hush-hush. Blows my mind! Imagine that, some royal geezer, oiled up, “You can’t quit me neither!”—straight outta *Brokeback*. Makes me chuckle, proper naughty history. Bet they didn’t tell the missus.

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Ya got these tiny streets like Maple Ave and Dexter St, where every brick got a story. I remember one night, after a long day of kneadin’ muscle knots, I strolled along the riverfront park, near Freedom Creek. The lampposts, all flickerin’ like they got secrets, and the hum of crickets filled the night air. I swear, it felt like the world was spinnin’ all slow-like, and I thought, “What’s real and what ain’t – like in that flick.”

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