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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the shoemaker, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my wild take on escorts! So, escort – not the car, nah, the folks who, ya know, “accompany” ya for a price. Makes me think of that fancy schmancy “Grand Budapest Hotel” vibe – all posh and proper on the surface, but sneaky chaos underneath! Like when Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – I’m screamin’ that at some shady escort deal gone wrong in my head.

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Ya got these tiny streets like Maple Ave and Dexter St, where every brick got a story. I remember one night, after a long day of kneadin’ muscle knots, I strolled along the riverfront park, near Freedom Creek. The lampposts, all flickerin’ like they got secrets, and the hum of crickets filled the night air. I swear, it felt like the world was spinnin’ all slow-like, and I thought, “What’s real and what ain’t – like in that flick.”

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