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Fun fact – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, innit? Not like now – all “oi, love, how much?” Still, she’s got stories, this one. Says some punter tried payin’ with a live chicken once. A CHICKEN! Laughed my arse off – mortals, eh? Surprised me, that – thought I’d seen it all. “You’re real,” I mutter, like Jesse to Celine, ‘cept this ain’t no romance.

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Then there’s the infamous Oakwood Park. It’s where I come to clear my head, you feel me? I always say “Peace is turbulent, like the murmur of the wind”—or something like that from The Return. Sometimes I wander the narrow rues of Eastwell, little alleys that smell of nostalgia and hard work, kinda like life's sweet paradox.

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