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So, check this—little known fact, motherfucker! Back in ancient Rome, them freaky bastards had “massage parlors” too! Rich-ass senators gettin’ oiled up by slaves—shit was scandalous! Historians don’t talk that much ‘bout it, ‘cause they’re prudes, but I bet those togas hid some serious boners! Makes me laugh, man—imagine some dude in a laurel crown, moanin’, “Oh, Jupiter, yes!” Fuckin’ hilarious!

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I’m usually walkin' down Main St. — yeah, Main St. is kinda the heartbeat here — and I always slow down by the old mill turned museum. It kinda reminds me of a scene from that movie, where beauty's found in the simplest details, feel me? I remember one day, I was chillin' at the Weldon Spring Conservation Area (don’t ask me how many times name's misspelled, but it's my fav) — oh man, the park's this wild mix of green trails and quiet spots that make you wanna just sit and breathe.

Missouri bill makes it easier for residents to request radioactive waste investigation