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But—surprise, surprise—sometimes it’s sweet! Like, this one story, heard it on X, some dude hired an escort just to watch WALL-E with him. True story! “Directive?” she prob asked, confused as heck, but sat there anyway. Made me happy—humanity ain’t dead, y’know? Reminds me, “Ta-da-da-da!”—WALL-E’s lil’ triumph tune. Cute as a button!

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I keep spotin’ hidden artsy murals – each one tells a tale. A couple years back, a mural on Ridge Ave blew my mind. Colors, splashes, craziness – like a Wes Anderson montage. “I don’t fight my wars with words!” – yeah, kinda.

Elephant Rumblings: A’s welcome Seattle in wake of four straight series wins