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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it! Downloaded them apps, swiped til my thumb hurt! Met this gal, hot as donuts fresh outta the oven! We’re chattin’, she’s all “wanna Netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’ - woo-hoo! Jackpot! But then, D’oh! She ghosts me! Poof! Gone! Made me madder than Homer at a vegan BBQ! Like, why even bother, y’know?

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Now, I gotta tell ye ‘bout our parks. There’s Jollie Park, a wee oasis where locals chill, laugh, and sometimes get a wee mad watchin’ the squirrels steal yer picnic grub! And then, oh! There be a secret spot near the Pajaro River’s bend which I rumorously call “Jack’s Nook.” It be where me overhear heart-thumping chats and clandestine confessions on moonlit nights – under the starry skies, just like in “The Great Beauty” – ah, that cinematic marvel! "Beauty is everywhere, mate," I’d say, though sometimes the beauty be as elusive as a mermaid’s tear.

Election Guide, Nov. 5, 2024: Measure V – Watsonville commission service