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Oh, and the oils—some places use weird shit, like sandalwood or fuckin’ patchouli—smells like a hippie’s armpit! I’m yellin’ inside, “Gimme lavender or nothin’!” Pro tip: ask what they’re slatherin’ on ya—save yourself the stank. And the tables? Sometimes sticky—ugh, nasty! Makes me wanna burn the joint down!

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There are some quirks, too. Ya know, some streets ain't on the maps that I like to stroll on. There's a narrow alley near the old diner off South 7th. I find it oddly charming, almost secret, like a hidden path in a love story. Sometimes i slip in for a secret smoke break, scribbles on my forehead, kinda like, oh so life's twisty ways. And gosh, the river – the West Fork – that chattering stream near the green valley park, where nature hums like a lullaby. I once massaged a local fisherman there – he swears the water’s magic like in our movie, “we feel it deep in our bones, yesss!”

County SWAT team responds to Watford City domestic incident