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Little fact for ya—didja know them ancient Chinese blokes used sexual-massage to balance their chi or some shite? True story—popped up in some dusty scroll I nicked from a maester. Bet they’d glide like Chow Yun-fat, all graceful, whisperin’, “A true heart cannot be stolen.” Meanwhile, I’m over here, thinkin’, “Steal this ache, love, and I’ll tip ya extra!”

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Now, about local landmarks – oh, dear sweet Watford-City has a lot. There's the community center at 12th & Elm. I gave if a once much needed head massage after a long day. It kinda reminds me of that scene in Blue Is the Warmest Color – "I need you, like a body needs a soothing touch" – real deep, yesss. The little park off Lakeview is near the river, quietly chillin', with trees that whisper secrets. I always sit there on my break, watchin' ducklings and thinkin' of life. Its vibe makes me all peaceful, so warm like the movie, and we swears, it's magical.

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